Heyyyyy

Haven't been blogging for so so so so so so so so so *shall exagerate more* right how do you even spell that word... BY THE WAY I GREW DARKER! yay! swimming with shazza. i thought her how to dive and now she can dive. except her leg is most of the time terkangkang,

Like whoa.

God, my ex-classmate called to my house phone just now. And that, THAT surprised me. Cause I thought he might have forgotten me or something. But he called, TO THE HOUSE. It's so weird cause no one calls to the house anymore. Anyway,

Me: Hello?
Vethian: Hey Sandra. Remember me?
Me: *thinks hard* Umm... Err.. Lemme think.. *silences* Who are you?
Vethian: You cannot remember me?
Me: Who is this?
Vethian: Vethian.. Vethian.. Vethian.
Me: *in heart thinks, "OMG. VETHIAN. OMG," and is speechless*
Vethian: You cannot remember me?
Me: Repeat your name again.
Vethian: Vethian.
Me: Wow.. Omg.. Vethian.. Where did you get my number from?
Vethian: Err.. this thing.
Me: Biodata?
Vethian: Yeah biodata. 

convo starts and I forgot what was it. and suddenly..

Vethian: Ehh did Julianne go to school today?
Me: Err. I don't study in Acmar anymore.
Vethian: You don't? Why?
Me: Cause my mom doesn't like Acmar?
Vethian: I see. Where do you study now?
Me: SMK Bukit Jelutong.
Vethian: Bukit Jelutong? You live there?
Me: No I study there, not live there.
Vethian: I live there.
Me: WHAT? WHERE? WHICH JALAN?
Vethian: I don't know.
Me: You live there and you don't know.
Vethian: I'm not so good with the roads yet. Just moved in.
Me: Oh. Still, you live there and you don't even know which jalan.
Vethian: I've not moved in yet la. Just bought the house.
Me: *pulls this face, =.="* I see.
Vethian: Do you have Preveena's number?
Me: Yeah. *gives her number*
Vethian: Kay thanks.
Me: Sure.
Vethian: Kay I uhh.. *mumbles something that sounded like love or something* Bye
Me: Oh *is baffled* Bye.
Vethian: Nice talking to you again.



It's was something like that. And we talked for about 2 minutes 45 seconds or so.. And my mom baked cupcakes again. I purposely sprinkled and added more almonds into it! Yay! And ashley watched 2012 already.   T_T    And she said it was so awesome. And I'm so jealous. So jealous. I'm dying to go out with audrey ashley and rachel. SO BAD.... And I hate sejarah. I think I got 48%. And my Geo, AI don't even wanna think about it..

What the fck is her problem?! What the fck?! My mother just told me that I'm the most dull and boring person she has ever met in her whole life and in the whole world and all those shit while I was 'enjoying' my oh-so-cold dinner just 15 minutes ago. What the fck. I mean does she even know me?! I wouldn't say that I'm the most active person you've ever met. But at least I don't act like the living dead that stares at you and never say anything and is boring. What the fck. I know we live under the same roof and she's my mother and she knows some of my favourite food and some stuff here and there. But that doesn't mean she knows me COMPLETELY. So fuck off. I'm so mad right now, I could wreck this whole house. There was once I was talking to Afdzal, he had some issues and I wanted to just comfort him, she thought we were a couple. And she told the maids about it. What the fuck is her problem?! He's just a friend! What the fuck. I was just talking to him and she said we had something. Fuck. I found out when both the maids asked me ada boyfriend x. And I was like x de. And then one of them said oh ye ke? Boyfriend bukan afdzal? And I was like WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. I wanna break her neck so bad. The last time I had a boyfriend, she told the whole world about it. I mean SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WOULD YA? Most of my aunts and uncles came up to me and said, don't have boyfriend now.. not good.. later affect your studies. And I was wtf man. Wtf. She checked all my messages, EVERY SINGLE ONE. So that's why I now delete my texts once I've read them. And each time I receive a text, she'll just keep asking from who? I'll just reply some girls name. Just so that she'll shut her fcking big mouth. And each time my aunt said I've gained some weight, she'll go all YOU ARE SO FAT. SO DAMN FAT. SO SO SO SO DAMN DAMN FAT. And she wouldn't even care how I feel or whatsoever. And there was once she said to be you are so damn stupid. The most stupid and idiotic bloody bastard I've ever met. I wish I never had gave birth to you. And she added, I would vomit blood if I ever see you again and die the very next day. WTF?! And there was once she kicked me out from the house just because I threw up on the floor, I was sick and the medicine was so horrible. She took out some of my clothes and threw them outside. And there was once she slapped right across the cheek. Like so many times actually. And there was once she threw my books out from the balcony and told me not be stupid and sweep roads when I grew up, There was once she canned me so hard, the marks were left on my hands and legs for so long. And it all started since I was in year 3. All these hatred and stuff. They are so stupid, I wish I can throw them all away, but how? And for you reader, if you wanna lecture me on how to appreciate my mother right now, just shut your mouth. I might hate you for life and never speak to you. Just imagine what if your mother did all that to you. They are many more, just that I don't wanna tell..

Weeeeeeeeee... Yeah right.. Weee. *frowns*

Weeeeeee............. Exam's finabally over darlings and honey pies! Yayyyyy! But still...

I walked from school filled with regret today. I regretted for not studying harder. I regretted for not doing the right thing. I regretted for not paying attention in class. I regretted for not fulfilling my dream. I have a feeling that I might not get any As for this final term examination.  *sigh*  Will somebody please come save me from all these? Please?  *sigh*  I walked out from the school gates today filled with loneliness.. I don't know why but I just feel that way. Like something's missing. Like someone's not there with me. Like something was stolen. Like someone went away. As I hear those elated screams and voices, my heart just hurt even more. I think to myself, can I ever turn back time? Can I ever go back and save everything I've done? Or should I just live on this way? I look away and found my mom at the school gate, awaiting my presence. I think back about what she told me the night before. She said I was useless and stupid. i hurt me just to look at her. Like I mean nothing. How could she said that. Whatever. My pace started to grow faster. She said nothing, neither did I. I got into the car, still we said nothing. I turned the radio on. Music and noise filled the quiet, dry air. Like no one's around me. Feel like I'm all alone. Yeah right, my life's perfect. So damn perfect. I remembered the second I started living this year. I thought it was gonna turn out wonderful. Little did I know, everything I had broke apart. Time passed so fast. Everything twirl and spin around me too fast. Too fast, I couldn't catch up and lost myself. Sometimes I wonder... Am I doing the right thing? Am I forgetting something? Is she forgetting me? Where am I? Where are we? What happened? What am I supposed to do? I don't know. I'm so lost right now.

And oh ya... I wasn't serious bout the dying hair thing. But I am about piercing my ears and getting a tattoo though I'm underage and I don't know where to get it.

"You know arr.. After exam arr.. I want to go out you know. I want to pierce my ear la. Hai yo. I like to pierce my ear you know. It is so so nice la. I oso arr.. want to dye my hair you know. And oso arr want to get a tattoo u know. They are so nice one." *

*in typical chinese clang. ps no offense it's for fun.


Tomorrow-GEO! Oh God... Geo-crap-phy. Ugh. I kinda like Geo-crap-phy actually. HaHa. O.o I had Maths 1 and 2 and also Science 1 today.. Maths 1 suck so bad. I was like humming and singing and I couldn't concentrate. I didn't realize that time passed so damn fast until Pn Zaini said 8 minit lagi. I was like OH SHEEET. I hardly did 20 questions or so. And I was like argh... So tembak the rest. I had no confidence in Maths any longer. T_T I'm over cooked human meat now.. And I'll be over cooked spoiled human meat after I received my results. Yeah, my mom's the chef. I'm so dead. Like so dead. I used to live Maths so much. Until, err, until.. last year? I don't know how did it all happened but that very special feeling just went away. I haven't studied Geo-crap-phy yet. *sigh* Life is life..

TFT!!!! *squeals*

Burn The Night Away - There For Tomorrow

It's 3 in the morning and I'm still not sleeping
Cause I'm finally running your race
The mountains you've been climbing seem like they have steepened
Since I decided to pick up the pace

If the whole world told me I should disappear
Could I fall right next to you

Just let me burn the nght away
Oh baby let me burn the night away
By thinking of the simple things you say to me
That get me through the day
You keep me wide awake
You keep me wide awake

So don't look back the hourglass is running empty
You've got me buried with your every move
Your fine lines have me at a loss of memory
I'm right beside you in an empty room

If the whole world told me I should disappear
Could I fall right next to you

Just let me burn the night away
Oh baby let me burn the night away
By thinking of the simple things you say to me
That get me through the day
And it's so hard to catch your feelings
When you always run away
You keep me wide awake
You keep me wide awake

You're making it hard
For me to just start
Over like were new
Oh the whole world told me I should disappear
Cause I'm falling in love with you

Just let me burn the night away
Oh baby let burn the night away
By thinking of the simple things you say to me
That get me through the day
And it's so hard to catch your feelings
When you always run away
You keep me wide awake
You keep me wide awake

Exam!

Ugh! Argh! Urgh! Ergh! Orgh! I hate exams and it's tomorrow! ARRRRHHHHH! *shoots self*

*floats about*

*giggles looking at human beings snore in sleep*

*pokes them*

*human being slaps me for poking them*

OH WAIT.. Imma ghost.. so that means...

*pokes more*

*pokey pokey*

This is getting boring..

*flies to america to visit paris hilton*

*pushes her off the bed*

*laughs evilly*

*flies to brangelina's mansion*

Oh no! it's brangelina making out session! Eeek!

*flies to vanessa hudgens house or whatever. i dont know what she lives in*

*pulls her hair specially for nellie since she hates her so much*

*vanessa wails*

*laughs oh-so-evailly*

*bakes poisonous cupcakes*

*place them in miley cyrus's room*

*hehehehehe*

*floats up and down*

*does float dance*

*comes back to life*

I so wish I could do all that.

A one-shot.

"Shh.. It's okay baby. It's okay.. Shh," He wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his warmth against my body. "Everything's fine. I'm here for you," He rested my head on his chest. I soaked his t-shirt with tears of mine. He softly caressed my hair, trying to comfort me. But my mother's dead was more than his comforting words and touch. It was bigger and heavier. I closed my eyes, only to replay flashbacks I do not want to remember. I squeezed his fingers with my cold palm. "Hey, you are gonna be okay. And if it doesn't turn out alright, I'll fix it. I promise, 'kay?"He whispered into my right ear and kissed my head. I'm grateful, grateful for loving him. I feel appreciated, appreciating his love. I brought him closer to me and tugged on his t-shirt tighter. He wiped away the tears from my swollen, red eyes and pinched my nose. "You're so cute. The cutest and most beautiful girl I've ever seen in the whole 16 years of life and it will remain that way forever," He pulled my chin up and gazed into my eyes. His eyes, warm and shiny. "I love you, so much. I can never stop loving you. I never did. No matter what you did or said to me. I love you too much actually. You're my one and only," And with that, he planted a kiss on my lips. "I love you too," I murmured, breaking away from the kiss. "I'm sorry for all my mistakes I've done to hurt you," Warm tears swarmed up in my eyes, making everything blurry. "That's the past. We're together now. Let's look ahead instead," He looked into me reassuringly. "Kay," And I rested my head on his chest, falling into a deep sleep.

Right.. This sucks but I just had the mood to write this.