KITTEH

2009-12-29T16:51:00.002+08:00

God. School's starting soon. And I have to pick up my report card. I'm sure I'll fail in most subjects like Maths, Science, BM, KH, GEO and definitely SEJARAH. Help. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. Take my advice. I know this better than you do. Don't lie. Save your breath and all those time you're gonna take to think on what to say next and build up your bad karma. Trust me on this. What goes around comes around. You'll still regret in the end. And it's always like that. I've been through it. You'll manage to get away with it at first. But, you'll pay for what you've done in the end. Cause and effect. Gosh. 2009 was hell of a year. In just one year, I've failed so badly. I've failed myself, my friends and everything. It feels like I've gone around in a year period collecting and producing bad karma. And now I have to pay for my bad deeds.

I turned around but you weren't there.

2009-12-29T16:41:00.000+08:00

*sigh* Time flies.. Time flies too fast. And I can go back. And that sucks. 2009 was the year of... i don't know. I don't even know I'm talking about. I don't get myself no more. It isn't crap, yet I don't get what I'm talking about. It's like I'm typing out sentences and then later I say I don't get it either just to get out of something. Not that I want to, but it seems like my path is blurr. Like I feel so lost. So afraid. I might sound like a freaky weirdo and some of you might think I'm just plain crazy and have been thinking too much or I'm just weird or you just think I don't make sense and I'm wasting your time and I'm getting annoying and you get pissed. And then you're malas to layan me. I'm sorry if I'm such a burden to you. I know I just get so emotional at times and I'm not PMS-ing. It's just that everything single thing you say, everything that you do. All your simple acts, your movements, your reply, the way you talk, it affects me. It has been rough lately. Like nothing's going the right way. Like this is a row. I want to mend it but I just don't know how. I'm confused myself. I don't know how to feel. So, how am I supposed to tell you? I hope you'll wait.

Ain't this so cute too??! another elated face

2009-12-09T16:54:00.000+08:00

Ain't this so cute??!!! elated face

2009-12-09T16:53:00.000+08:00

Hey hey you you!

2009-12-09T16:38:00.000+08:00

Oh Mi Gah. I went for swhimang with Ashley and Shazza todayy.. Yay! We were sunbathing under the sun by the pool today. It was about 9 to 10 something in the morning. And the sun was HAWT. And we were baked. I think im going for swhimang again tomorrow. Hehe. I wanna push Shazza down. Mwahahaha. You know, no one reads my blog and I know that. But anyway this blog is just for my personal pleasure and obviously I'm exposing my privacy and yeah I do not like exposing my daily life basis on the internet. Kay.. Maybe not daily life. I haven't blog in such a long time. And I got addicted to this new song called Do Better by Say Anything. It's AWESOME. Lovin it, embracing it, feelin it. Ooh hair on Ashley's keyboard. I wonder whose hair is it. *wonders* Miracles happen everyday. O.o We're supposed to do maths and science homework but we're just too lazy. Lalala~ Maika Maile is so hot. He's like so hot. Like so so friggin hot. Haha.

Heyyyyy

2009-11-25T16:03:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging for so so so so so so so so so *shall exagerate more* right how do you even spell that word... BY THE WAY I GREW DARKER! yay! swimming with shazza. i thought her how to dive and now she can dive. except her leg is most of the time terkangkang,

Like whoa.

2009-11-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

God, my ex-classmate called to my house phone just now. And that, THAT surprised me. Cause I thought he might have forgotten me or something. But he called, TO THE HOUSE. It's so weird cause no one calls to the house anymore. Anyway,

Me: Hello?
Vethian: Hey Sandra. Remember me?
Me: *thinks hard* Umm... Err.. Lemme think.. *silences* Who are you?
Vethian: You cannot remember me?
Me: Who is this?
Vethian: Vethian.. Vethian.. Vethian.
Me: *in heart thinks, "OMG. VETHIAN. OMG," and is speechless*
Vethian: You cannot remember me?
Me: Repeat your name again.
Vethian: Vethian.
Me: Wow.. Omg.. Vethian.. Where did you get my number from?
Vethian: Err.. this thing.
Me: Biodata?
Vethian: Yeah biodata.

convo starts and I forgot what was it. and suddenly..

Vethian: Ehh did Julianne go to school today?
Me: Err. I don't study in Acmar anymore.
Vethian: You don't? Why?
Me: Cause my mom doesn't like Acmar?
Vethian: I see. Where do you study now?
Me: SMK Bukit Jelutong.
Vethian: Bukit Jelutong? You live there?
Me: No I study there, not live there.
Vethian: I live there.
Me: WHAT? WHERE? WHICH JALAN?
Vethian: I don't know.
Me: You live there and you don't know.
Vethian: I'm not so good with the roads yet. Just moved in.
Me: Oh. Still, you live there and you don't even know which jalan.
Vethian: I've not moved in yet la. Just bought the house.
Me: *pulls this face, =.="* I see.
Vethian: Do you have Preveena's number?
Me: Yeah. *gives her number*
Vethian: Kay thanks.
Me: Sure.
Vethian: Kay I uhh.. *mumbles something that sounded like love or something* Bye
Me: Oh *is baffled* Bye.
Vethian: Nice talking to you again.

It's was something like that. And we talked for about 2 minutes 45 seconds or so.. And my mom baked cupcakes again. I purposely sprinkled and added more almonds into it! Yay! And ashley watched 2012 already. T_T And she said it was so awesome. And I'm so jealous. So jealous. I'm dying to go out with audrey ashley and rachel. SO BAD.... And I hate sejarah. I think I got 48%. And my Geo, AI don't even wanna think about it..

2009-11-10T21:10:00.002+08:00

What the fck is her problem?! What the fck?! My mother just told me that I'm the most dull and boring person she has ever met in her whole life and in the whole world and all those shit while I was 'enjoying' my oh-so-cold dinner just 15 minutes ago. What the fck. I mean does she even know me?! I wouldn't say that I'm the most active person you've ever met. But at least I don't act like the living dead that stares at you and never say anything and is boring. What the fck. I know we live under the same roof and she's my mother and she knows some of my favourite food and some stuff here and there. But that doesn't mean she knows me COMPLETELY. So fuck off. I'm so mad right now, I could wreck this whole house. There was once I was talking to Afdzal, he had some issues and I wanted to just comfort him, she thought we were a couple. And she told the maids about it. What the fuck is her problem?! He's just a friend! What the fuck. I was just talking to him and she said we had something. Fuck. I found out when both the maids asked me ada boyfriend x. And I was like x de. And then one of them said oh ye ke? Boyfriend bukan afdzal? And I was like WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. WTF. I wanna break her neck so bad. The last time I had a boyfriend, she told the whole world about it. I mean SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WOULD YA? Most of my aunts and uncles came up to me and said, don't have boyfriend now.. not good.. later affect your studies. And I was wtf man. Wtf. She checked all my messages, EVERY SINGLE ONE. So that's why I now delete my texts once I've read them. And each time I receive a text, she'll just keep asking from who? I'll just reply some girls name. Just so that she'll shut her fcking big mouth. And each time my aunt said I've gained some weight, she'll go all YOU ARE SO FAT. SO DAMN FAT. SO SO SO SO DAMN DAMN FAT. And she wouldn't even care how I feel or whatsoever. And there was once she said to be you are so damn stupid. The most stupid and idiotic bloody bastard I've ever met. I wish I never had gave birth to you. And she added, I would vomit blood if I ever see you again and die the very next day. WTF?! And there was once she kicked me out from the house just because I threw up on the floor, I was sick and the medicine was so horrible. She took out some of my clothes and threw them outside. And there was once she slapped right across the cheek. Like so many times actually. And there was once she threw my books out from the balcony and told me not be stupid and sweep roads when I grew up, There was once she canned me so hard, the marks were left on my hands and legs for so long. And it all started since I was in year 3. All these hatred and stuff. They are so stupid, I wish I can throw them all away, but how? And for you reader, if you wanna lecture me on how to appreciate my mother right now, just shut your mouth. I might hate you for life and never speak to you. Just imagine what if your mother did all that to you. They are many more, just that I don't wanna tell..

Weeeeeeeeee... Yeah right.. Weee. frowns

2009-11-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

Weeeeeee............. Exam's finabally over darlings and honey pies! Yayyyyy! But still...

I walked from school filled with regret today. I regretted for not studying harder. I regretted for not doing the right thing. I regretted for not paying attention in class. I regretted for not fulfilling my dream. I have a feeling that I might not get any As for this final term examination. *sigh* Will somebody please come save me from all these? Please? *sigh* I walked out from the school gates today filled with loneliness.. I don't know why but I just feel that way. Like something's missing. Like someone's not there with me. Like something was stolen. Like someone went away. As I hear those elated screams and voices, my heart just hurt even more. I think to myself, can I ever turn back time? Can I ever go back and save everything I've done? Or should I just live on this way? I look away and found my mom at the school gate, awaiting my presence. I think back about what she told me the night before. She said I was useless and stupid. i hurt me just to look at her. Like I mean nothing. How could she said that. Whatever. My pace started to grow faster. She said nothing, neither did I. I got into the car, still we said nothing. I turned the radio on. Music and noise filled the quiet, dry air. Like no one's around me. Feel like I'm all alone. Yeah right, my life's perfect. So damn perfect. I remembered the second I started living this year. I thought it was gonna turn out wonderful. Little did I know, everything I had broke apart. Time passed so fast. Everything twirl and spin around me too fast. Too fast, I couldn't catch up and lost myself. Sometimes I wonder... Am I doing the right thing? Am I forgetting something? Is she forgetting me? Where am I? Where are we? What happened? What am I supposed to do? I don't know. I'm so lost right now.

2009-11-04T22:20:00.001+08:00

And oh ya... I wasn't serious bout the dying hair thing. But I am about piercing my ears and getting a tattoo though I'm underage and I don't know where to get it.

2009-11-04T22:10:00.002+08:00

"You know arr.. After exam arr.. I want to go out you know. I want to pierce my ear la. Hai yo. I like to pierce my ear you know. It is so so nice la. I oso arr.. want to dye my hair you know. And oso arr want to get a tattoo u know. They are so nice one." *

*in typical chinese clang. ps no offense it's for fun.

Tomorrow-GEO! Oh God... Geo-crap-phy. Ugh. I kinda like Geo-crap-phy actually. HaHa. O.o I had Maths 1 and 2 and also Science 1 today.. Maths 1 suck so bad. I was like humming and singing and I couldn't concentrate. I didn't realize that time passed so damn fast until Pn Zaini said 8 minit lagi. I was like OH SHEEET. I hardly did 20 questions or so. And I was like argh... So tembak the rest. I had no confidence in Maths any longer. T_T I'm over cooked human meat now.. And I'll be over cooked spoiled human meat after I received my results. Yeah, my mom's the chef. I'm so dead. Like so dead. I used to live Maths so much. Until, err, until.. last year? I don't know how did it all happened but that very special feeling just went away. I haven't studied Geo-crap-phy yet. *sigh* Life is life..

TFT!!!! squeals

2009-11-03T19:13:00.001+08:00

Burn The Night Away - There For Tomorrow

It's 3 in the morning and I'm still not sleeping
Cause I'm finally running your race
The mountains you've been climbing seem like they have steepened
Since I decided to pick up the pace

If the whole world told me I should disappear
Could I fall right next to you

Just let me burn the nght away
Oh baby let me burn the night away
By thinking of the simple things you say to me
That get me through the day
You keep me wide awake
You keep me wide awake

So don't look back the hourglass is running empty
You've got me buried with your every move
Your fine lines have me at a loss of memory
I'm right beside you in an empty room

If the whole world told me I should disappear
Could I fall right next to you

Just let me burn the night away
Oh baby let me burn the night away
By thinking of the simple things you say to me
That get me through the day
And it's so hard to catch your feelings
When you always run away
You keep me wide awake
You keep me wide awake

You're making it hard
For me to just start
Over like were new
Oh the whole world told me I should disappear
Cause I'm falling in love with you

Just let me burn the night away
Oh baby let burn the night away
By thinking of the simple things you say to me
That get me through the day
And it's so hard to catch your feelings
When you always run away
You keep me wide awake
You keep me wide awake

Exam!

2009-11-01T22:03:00.002+08:00

Ugh! Argh! Urgh! Ergh! Orgh! I hate exams and it's tomorrow! ARRRRHHHHH! *shoots self*

*floats about*

*giggles looking at human beings snore in sleep*

*pokes them*

*human being slaps me for poking them*

OH WAIT.. Imma ghost.. so that means...

*pokes more*

*pokey pokey*

This is getting boring..

*flies to america to visit paris hilton*

*pushes her off the bed*

*laughs evilly*

*flies to brangelina's mansion*

Oh no! it's brangelina making out session! Eeek!

*flies to vanessa hudgens house or whatever. i dont know what she lives in*

*pulls her hair specially for nellie since she hates her so much*

*vanessa wails*

*laughs oh-so-evailly*

*bakes poisonous cupcakes*

*place them in miley cyrus's room*

*hehehehehe*

*floats up and down*

*does float dance*

*comes back to life*

I so wish I could do all that.

A one-shot.

2009-11-01T21:38:00.002+08:00

"Shh.. It's okay baby. It's okay.. Shh," He wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his warmth against my body. "Everything's fine. I'm here for you," He rested my head on his chest. I soaked his t-shirt with tears of mine. He softly caressed my hair, trying to comfort me. But my mother's dead was more than his comforting words and touch. It was bigger and heavier. I closed my eyes, only to replay flashbacks I do not want to remember. I squeezed his fingers with my cold palm. "Hey, you are gonna be okay. And if it doesn't turn out alright, I'll fix it. I promise, 'kay?"He whispered into my right ear and kissed my head. I'm grateful, grateful for loving him. I feel appreciated, appreciating his love. I brought him closer to me and tugged on his t-shirt tighter. He wiped away the tears from my swollen, red eyes and pinched my nose. "You're so cute. The cutest and most beautiful girl I've ever seen in the whole 16 years of life and it will remain that way forever," He pulled my chin up and gazed into my eyes. His eyes, warm and shiny. "I love you, so much. I can never stop loving you. I never did. No matter what you did or said to me. I love you too much actually. You're my one and only," And with that, he planted a kiss on my lips. "I love you too," I murmured, breaking away from the kiss. "I'm sorry for all my mistakes I've done to hurt you," Warm tears swarmed up in my eyes, making everything blurry. "That's the past. We're together now. Let's look ahead instead," He looked into me reassuringly. "Kay," And I rested my head on his chest, falling into a deep sleep.

Right.. This sucks but I just had the mood to write this.

Exam!

2009-10-29T22:41:00.002+08:00

Oh Mi Gaahhhh! Exam next week la! I hate exams.. I doubt that I can get an 2As. Probably A for civic or something real easy. Like erm.. Nothing's easy. Right.. Anyway.. ARGHHH.. URGH.. IRGH... ORGH... ERGH... Grr.. Puuurrrr.. Sexay rawr. Okay, that doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense! By the way, Nadiah's organizing this car wash fundraising thing for the PRS. And I'm in it! Though I'm not a PRS. But I volunteered anyway cause she's my friend. And Cikgu Din hasn't confirmed it with her yet. *sigh* And I miss ashleyh or ashlayh or assie or ash or ashleeeyy or something that sounds close to her name. I miss rachayll. El Rachalo. If that is how you spell it. God, I miss them all so much, including aud or audaray or au aud or something that sounds close to her name. I can't believe I actually layaned Qis-my-ass-tina. Thank you audrey and ashley and anyone else and everyone else that came up with such an AMAZING name. It's gorgeous and beautiful since she loves it when people calls her Qis. It sounds so bajet and it is mmg bajet. I hate that name. Qis.. Qis.. Qis.. Eee.. Brr.. Hey! That reminds me of that Coca-cola commercial.. Brrr. It's so... fascinating everyone 'brrr's after drinking coke. What will happen if Zaini Zain become famous at the age of 60?! *gasps* Omg! The horror starts! If she turns out to be famous.. She wouldn't teach us! Anymore! Yay! You know Puan Roziana was in such a good mood today and I didn't have my kain when I was in school cause it was at the tailor's and the tailor lost my mom's number and so she didn't call and my mom thought she didn't jahit and sedang mengamuk cause she didn't call and was complaining bout the pola and stuff and was complaining bout something else and she's kinda nice and so Roziana was a good mood and I wasn't roasted alive although I was upposed to cause I didn't bring the baju and pola and kerja kayu to school and she didn't yell but said takpe esok bawa, kalau tidak takde markah la and I was like heehee okayy.. *runs out of breath* My baju looks so... perfect.. to be done by me.. And it's so damn obvious. Anyway.. I have nothing else to blog or I'll just blog later or another day..

It's been like this.

2009-10-23T17:17:00.003+08:00

I've been so emotionless today. It's like I don't know what and how to feel about everything. The sky is so gray. I need Ashley right here, beside me right now. I need her so badly. *sigh* I really need more energetic songs to listen to or I'll continue my day like this, moody and dull. I came here to make you dance tonight! I don't care about my guilty pleasure for you!

Name : Sandbra Yo
Age :Younger than your grandma.
Date of Birth : You've got to promise me an awesome expansive present first. :P
Obsessions : CHRIS KAMRADA, MAIKA MAILE. I'm amazed that God created such gorgeous creatures. Anyway my friends are way way way hotter than any of them. Love you guys so much.

I don't know what to post. I ran out of ideas and words. OH MY GOOOOD.. This sentence suddenly popped into my head. Gosh..

We just stood and looked at each other. He seemed mesmerized. I felt my face flush, and I was going to say something, until he put his hand on my cheek. His hand was rough, but gentle. His thumb stroked my cheek. He moved his hand to my shoulder and placed his other hand on my other shoulder. He pushed me up against the wall. His mouth on mine. He played around with my lips seductively. Looking for an entrance into my mouth. His tongue playfully traced my lips. I smiled and finally decided to give in. His soft tongue victoriously played around. I could feel his hand went from my back to my hair, twisting around. Curling it. I broke away from the kiss at stared into his black mysterious eyes. He brought his forehead to mine. His breath hot and seductive. My fingers were entangled in his hair. He pulled my lips to his again, full with passion. Everything was perfect. His hands on my waist. Alright I'm stopping here. Eek. Anyway this doesn't really mean anything. Mature eyes only please and please do not get the wrong picture. PEACE! LOVE MOTHER EARTH!

It's the break down and it makes no sense.

2009-10-22T23:54:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel like breaking down so bad,
I just wanna fall on the floor and weep my heart out.
Now all I can do is just stay sad.
I want to throw everything out,
Throw everything around,
Lets my feelings out,
With all these emotions mixed up.
I wouldn't call this a poem,
It's just the way I feel.
I've been thinking lately,
Thinking of how things will turn out if I told you my real thoughts.
What would you say?
What would you do?
Would you hate me?
Will you confess the same thing too?
Will you feel the guilt?
I do not know.
I'm so confused.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I hate this point of life right now. So much. Face the ugly truth. Face the ugly yet beautiful world. I wonder what if I haven't been to SMK BKT JELUTONG. Where would I be right now? What would I be doing right now? What would I be right now?

2009-10-22T23:37:00.005+08:00

Anyway.. CHRIS KAMRADA IS SO HAWT.

You know I don't listen to pop charts anymore. I don't even listen to the radio anymore. I just suddenly stopped.. Like stopped. I'm listening to songs and bands I didn't even know exists. I used to be glued to the radio last time. Like, GLUED. I couldn't live without it and now I don't even bother about it. I guess it's due to the not my type songs on the radio. I hate Akon. I hate him. I hate his songs and voice and everything. Not offense, but I just hate him so much. Right Na Na Na is so annoying. And You're So Beautiful bites my ears. I used to LOVE Fly last time but now I just don't listen to it anymore. I started listening to Fly since I was 11? I loved it. I loved Prem and Jules. They were awesome. I hate the Pagi Show. I hate Ben, Nadia and Phat Fabes. They are so annoying. o_O

2009-10-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

And oh yeah by the way.. Remember that effing piece of kain I bought for RM24 yesterday?? I asked Puan Rositah whether was it velvet cause it was so darn expansive and others were like only RM6.80, and she told me this.. "Yang ni bukan kain velvet la. Yang ni kain satin ni," I was like WTF?! I BOUGHT THE EFFING WRONG KAIN FOR RM24 AND IT'S UNREFUNABLE?! God. I wanna kill that salesgirl at the shop. And I just smiled and said okay to her and went out, cursing to myself to never ever step in that shop ever again.

I'm smitten..

2009-10-20T21:42:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh. This song is so.... so.... ugh. It makes me feel so touched and ugh. This is the lyrics.

Darlin' by Between The Trees.

This call is meant to be brief
A simple hello ending with goodbye
Then you say hello
Now, I am melting
And now my goodbye
Becomes a goodnight
I don't mind if you don't mind
Please say you do not mind if this call
Goes on all night
Cause I have more to say
My afternoon was O.K.
My evening was fine but this night
I want it to be the best night
Of our lives

Sweet Darling
This is my confession to
The crimes of wanting you badly
And Darlin' if you're wondering
Here's your answer
Yes I like you
I don't love you
I can't love you
Yet

These calls are getting longer
And these nights go on
And on and on forever
I do believe I'm getting better
Knowing you
Hopefully all of you
Sitting watching movies
We both know I do not watch a bit of it
Cause I am much too busy
Leaving my hand close enough
So you'll hold it

Sweet Darling
This is my confession to
The crimes of wanting you badly
And Darlin' if you're wondering
Here's your answer
Yes I like you
I don't love you
I can't love you

And I can not stop thinking about you
I can not stop wondering
If you're constantly
Thinking about me
Don't close your eyes dear I'm still staring
I won't lie dear I'm still breathing
Even though your beauty is breath taking

Sweet Darling
This is my confession to
The crimes of wanting you badly
And Darlin' if you're wondering
Here's your answer
Yes I like you
I can't love you
I can't love you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMXS71otX1g

It's so sweet. It makes me feel so touched. By the way, I baked brownies today. o_O And there's walnuts inside and I was bored while waiting for the oven to warm up so I added CEREAL! And it turned out really really sweet. Too sweet. The top, the crust or whatever you call it was kinda sticky and I didn't like it. But the walnuts were awesome. And I saw four kittens with their mother today. They were so damn damn cute and damn damn damn cute. I feel in love with them. I wanna bring them home but I know I can't cause my mom dislikes animals. She hates their poo. And so do I. But I still love them all the same.

After turning 14 resolutions.

2009-10-19T22:19:00.000+08:00

1. Study harder and turn out smarter than before!
2. Probably lose some weight or something.
3. Blast the music louder. Haha.
4. Earn some money. I hope I can work part-time. Maybe I'll do odd jobs.
5. Be a better person. This is compulsory.
6. Take good care of all my relationships like friendship etc etc.
7. Enjoy more luxurious chocolates. This is so a must.
8. Cut down all my bad, bad karma. I have a lot due to all those little white lies that won't hurt fleas but myself.
9. Finish a book during the holidays.
10. Go somewhere. Take the time off.
11. Set my own goal, each month. This is very, very important.
12. Read more to improve grammar and vocabulary. They suck.
13. Relax my eyes. Before I go blind.
14. Run away from nagging, in a smarter and sneakier way.
15. Become more evil. Muahahahaha.
16. DO NOT FINISH MY CREDIT TOO FAST, TOO SOON.
17. Sing louder?
18. Spend more time with my friends, that's for sure.
19. Respect others.
20. Have more private times? I LOVE MY PRIVACY.
21. Write more crap. And try... TRY to improve handwriting though it's 100 times way way better than Arief's.
22. Do more Maths. It does your brain good.
23. Dislike manwhores. They are disgusting.
24. Set a healthy timetable and follow it. I hope I do..
25. Don't go online too often and too long. I'm always over the limit. And that is why my yellow Internet cable was gone.
26. Agree to disagree.
27. Love to love. Hate to hate.
28. Express emotions better. Or you're hard to read.
29. Buy a new headset cause mine is broken.
30. Get a new phone? My phone is kinda crazy and doesn't listen to me. So it's not that I want one, it's because I need one.
31. Get a life and stop butting into other people's life unnecessarily.
32. Drink more water so that I won't dehydrate and faint on the ground.
33. Start baking cookies, cakes and buns. I'm so curious about baking.
34. Practice cooking more often.
35. Don't love the computer, MOSTLY THE INTERNET, too much.
36. Don't burp so loud. o_O Oops.. That slipped.
37. Spend money wisely. Try me. *mischievous glint*
38. Get a boyfriend? *giggles* Nahh.. Not now. I've got my eyes glued on Maika Maile and Chris Kamrada. But they are 6 years older than I am and they are KEZILLION KEZIZILION MILES away from me.. *sigh*
39. Stop humiliating myself in public.
40. Be spontaneously daring. Daring... Rawr!
41. Write more crap so that I can read it in the future. And laugh at them.
42. Stop being jealous over Megan Fox's hot bod. STOP IT.
43. Stop daydreaming and jump back to reality.
44. Sleep earlier.
45. Stop wasting food.
46. Stop spending too much time on the phone.
47. TRY to stop prank calling. It's rude, yet funny.
48. Perfect my fried eggs. Make sure the yolk doesn't break and is in perfect shape. :O
49. Stop talking bad a.k.a. gossiping behind peoples' back. Like I even do that.
50. Do you know that this was actually meant to be private? o_O

2009-10-19T21:36:00.000+08:00

Oh My God. I bought an effing 1 meter long kain velvet, purple, for an effing price of RM24. Whilst my friend bought hers for an effing RM6.80. Wth. Anyway, lets just forget about that. And my day was kinda okay.. Just okay.. Nothing to remember. By the way, I'd love to state my friend's name in my blog, since he wants it so badly. It's Arief. =) I have no inspiration to blog anymore for meantime.. Although I have this terrible itch to.. *ugghh* This itch is so irritating that it makes me work my brain just to think of what to post. Anyway, I found this vid on www.youtube.com quite sometime ago. It's Mr. Sexi's Pizza. It's funny. And that guy is gay, yet cute. o_O I'm not saying that gay guys are cute. But he, Fex, is funny.

*awkward silences*

*awkward silences*

*awkward silences*

I'm feeling blue. o_O And it's all because of this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLIboc0PFT8

*awkward silences*

*awkward silences*

You know what. I love to read. And I love to sing, in private and with friends. And I love to dance, in private and with friends. And I love laugh so hard, so hard that I get stomach crams and tears and the pain at the throat. Yeah.. There's nothing to say.. Though this urge is so annoying. I think I'll post something else later..

I WANT .. TO .. IMPACT THE WORLD .. BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE ..

2009-10-19T14:13:00.001+08:00

I want to impact the world but I can't do it alone.
I want to create a better place for us and you have to help me out.
I want to write a beautiful song for the ones that are alone,
I want to shout a message out at the beach, but one is not enough.

I want to make this world a better place to stay,
I want to let all the children run free and sway.
I want to save those that need me,
I want to make them smile and feel happy.

I want to impact the world but I can't do it alone.
I want to save lives and correct mistakes.
I want to feed them with happy laughter and sweet cakes.
I want to see them dance and get up after each fall.

That's my mission,
To impact the world.
And you've got to help me out.

BUS-TED

2009-10-19T11:37:00.000+08:00

My mom caught me blogging and chatting and humming to Hot Mess in erm.. bout 2.30 am yesterday morning. She's an early bird.. So you get what I mean. I couldn't sleep and I decided to start a blog. And so I didn't realise that she came out from the room and went to the toilet until the toilet door closed. And I was like OMFG. Sheet sheet sheet. Effing sheet man. So turned off the speaker and monitor and lean my schoolbag against the CPU to block the very bright green light that ALWAYS blow my cover. Then I picked up a book pretended to read. She came out and squint at me and then said NO MORE COMPUTER AHH.. And I was okay.. Then when she went back to the room, I switched off the computer and then my dad called. I was like huh? why is he calling at this time? So, I picked up the phone and he asked me what am I doing. I said I was reading. Then he asked are you on the computer? And I replied no, I already switched it off. And then he said okay, don't spend too long on the computer cause it's bad for your eyes and stuff. Then he hung up. Nagging and warnings all the way from Penang, people. And I knew it was my mom who called him, obviously. Then she came out and scolded me. And I quickly picked up my Sejarah book since it was right in front of me and tried studying. Well, at least I tried. And she kept glaring at me. So, I just studied a little and went to sleep and that was about 2.50 or so. I was planning to not sleep the whole night but blah happened. And I think my mom slept very little after I knocked out. The next morning I woke up and my mom just showered. She didn't say anything and went out. I was planning to blog but the yellow Internet cable was gone. I was like sheet. Okay, never mind. I knew she took it out. And so I just stared at the computer, with no Internet. Wth is a computer for when it has no Internet?! It's like me bringing an electric fan to the middle of the desert. How useless. Well, at least I could still listen to some songs but still it was so BORING. I called Ashley and she was online. And she was blogging something, I think, I forgot. Then we were like we have to study. It's important cause exam is near. And we just kept telling each other that. But we ended up chatting and I told her about the missing yellow cable. After we hung up, I started searching for it. Failed, I couldn't find it. And so I called Ashley and told her I couldn't find it. Then we started saying we are gonna study now and so we hung again. I wanted to study.. SO BAD. But, I ended up tying my school shoelaces. And eating and then playing SIMS. Gosh, I hated myself. Then Ashley called and she was asking what are you doing now? And I said eekk hehehehe. I'm playing Sims. And she was like WHAT?! YOU ARE PLAYING SIMS?! Oh God. I was like haha. And then she had to go back to studying and I went back to playing Sims and studying, at the same time. I didn't study for long and I was bored. So, I cleaned the standing fan. o_O I was bored, I had to get away from studying for awhile or I'll go crazy. So anyway my mom came back. And there were lots of awkward silences. And fast forward fast forward. My dad called! Bout 10.30pm or so. And he said I told your mother to fix back the cable and I was OMG.. HEHEHEHE. Okay.. And so this morning I found the yellow Internet cable on the table.. AND HERE I AM..

Eeek! Peeps!

2009-10-18T01:12:00.000+08:00

I have seriously nothing to do, besides chatting. It's 1.15 am in the morning. I'd melt if the guy of my dreams sang this song for me:-

If I was a sailor
I'd sail the seven seas
To tell you "baby I don't want you to leave"
You see this world is such a sad place
And without your pretty face
I'm sure it's gonna wind up much worse

And I know that you'll see someday that I can't live without you
And I know what I say is true cause I'm still stuck on you girl

I'm in love from the first time I laid my eyes on you
A-shoo-do-do-do-do-do
There's nothing I can do
And I'm in love from the first time I laid my lips on yours
Now you're walking out my door
And there's nothing I can do

And if I could explore the world
I'd bring you along
We'd go from New York to Timbuktu
But truly I am set right here at Denny's
Drinking coffee and sharing a cigarette

And I know that you'll see someday that I can't live without you
And I know what I say is true cause I'm so stuck on you girl

I'm in love from the first time I laid my eyes on you
A-shoo-do-do-do-do-do
There's nothing I can do
And I'm in love from the first time I laid my lips on yours
Now you're walking out my door
And there's nothing I can do

I'm in love with you :)

Ain't it sweet? It's sweeter than any candy I have ever and can ever taste.. *melts*
Oh Mi Gahhh! Why doesn't There For Tomorrow know Malaysia?! Is Malaysia that unpopular is this big, wide world?! It's sad.. Gosh.. Maika Maile and Chris Kamrada.. *drools*

Guilty Pleasure - Cobra Starship.
And i came here to make you dance tonight
i don't care about my guilty pleasure for you

and i don't even know
what kinda fool you're taking me for
so you've got some brand new clothes,
you never could afford before

oh brother spare us all
we don't care anymore
we just wanna get down on the floor
you sell yourself to make it
you can dish it, but can you really take it

you're never gonna get it with nothing
cause nothing's what you got in your head
so stop pretending

i came here to make you dance tonight
i don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you
shut up cause we won't stop
and we're getting down till the sun's coming up

and i don't even read
what the papers gotta say about me
oh, no i can't believe
they take it so serious, seriously

i'm so bored, oh please don't talk anymore
shut your mouth and get down on the floor

so cynical
poor baby i can dish it cause i know how to take it

you're never gonna win em all
so fuck em if they can't take a joke
i'm just playing

i came here to make you dance tonight
i don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you
shut up cause we won't stop
and we're getting down till the sun's coming up

and maybe someday i'll believe
(maybe someday i'll believe)
that we are all apart of some bigger plan
tonight i just don't give a damn
(so shut your mouth it's time to dance)
if the world is ending, I'm throwing the party

and i came here to make you dance tonight
i don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you
shut up cause we won't stop
and we're getting down till the sun's coming up.

That reminds me.. I have loads of sejarah left to do.. Haih. It'll never end.. Not until I pass SPM. I love butter prawns. Oh My God. Here we go again.. I miss Ashley and Audrey and Rachel Actually, I miss the four of us. It seems like we're gone. Not gone, but gone.. We don't even rehat together anymore. I don't even see them everyday anymore. Haih. School has been kinda dull. It's like I'm dragging myself to school each day. And each day before I get up from bed, I try to come up with an excuse to not go to school. It isn't torture, neither is it pleasure. I don't know la..

Not Good Enough For Truth In Cliche - Escape The Fate.
Hurtful words,
From my enemies of the last five years,
What's it like to die alone?

And how does it feel when tears freeze,
When you cry?
The blood in your veins is twenty below.

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on my trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on my trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Something I cannot forget.

So for now, take this down a notch,
Crash my car through your window,
Make sure you're still alive,
Just in time to kill you,

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on my trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on my trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Something I cannot forget

( I can't take this take anymore )
( I can't take this take anymore )
I cannot feel what you've done to me what you've done to me
( I can't take this take anymore )
( I can't take this take anymore )
What you've done to me

So for now, take this down a notch,
Crash my car through your window, ( window.)

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on my trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on my trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Something I cannot forget..

I'm definitely bored.

2009-10-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

I can't stop listening to this song.. Girlfriend - Bow Wow ft. Omarion. It's sweet. And also I got Ashley addicted to this song, Simple Enough - NeverShoutNever. It's nice too but I prefer:-

Situations - Escape The Fate.
Situations are irrelevant now
She loves the way that I tease
I love the way that she breathes

I touched her (ooh)
she touched my (ahhh)
it was the craziest thing.

I love the girls who hate to love because they're just like me
A certain girl she took my hand and ran it up her thigh
She licked her lips and pulled my hair, I fall in love for a night

She can't behave and I'm just a slave
don’t worry I'll be gone when the morning comes.

Darling what is going on?
Honestly that never happened
Lying is your favorite passion.
Leave me, go where you belong
Higher heels and lipstick napkins
Dying is your latest fashion.

The frustration it's a regular thing
I hate the ones who love to hate because they're just like me.
A certain girl she took her hand and put in my lap
"It's way too full", she said. once you have me you'll always come back.

She can't behave and I'm just a slave
Don’t worry, I'll be gone when the morning comes.

Darling, what is going on?
Honestly that never happened
Lying is your favorite passion
Leave me, go where you belong
Higher heels and lipstick napkins
Dying is your latest fashion.

I know you love to insist and all it takes is a kiss and you just
love to hate me.

You know you love all the lies so don’t act surprised that I just
love to hate you.

I kissed your lips you pulled my hair it was the craziest thing
I love the girls who love to hate. (Breathing)

(Whoa) Darling, what is going on?
Honestly that never happened
Lying is your favorite passion
Leave me, go where you belong
Higher heels and lipstick napkins
Dying is your latest fashion

Darling (Leave Me), what is going on?
Honestly that never happened
Lying is your favorite passion
Leave me (Darling), go where you belong
Higher heels and lipstick napkins
Dying is your favorite passion.

Gosh.. I love that song though it's already kinda old. My mom baked sausage buns.. o_O

It's the start..

2009-10-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

Err.. Hi there! I used to dislike blogging and since I developed this thing for typing.. I might as well start one. Since ASHLEY'S blog is so tempting and nice, it just tempted me to start one. I love her so much.. And also Audrey, and Rachel. Anyway, welcome to mah blog and I have nothing else to say right now..

KITTEH

I turned around but you weren't there.

Ain't this so cute too??! *another elated face*

Ain't this so cute??!!! *elated face*

Hey hey you you!

Heyyyyy

Like whoa.

Weeeeeeeeee... Yeah right.. Weee. *frowns*

TFT!!!! *squeals*

Exam!

A one-shot.

Exam!

It's been like this.

It's the break down and it makes no sense.

I'm smitten..

After turning 14 resolutions.

I WANT .. TO .. IMPACT THE WORLD .. BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE ..

BUS-TED

Eeek! Peeps!

I'm definitely bored.

It's the start..

Ain't this so cute too??! another elated face

Ain't this so cute??!!! elated face

Weeeeeeeeee... Yeah right.. Weee. frowns

TFT!!!! squeals